Apr 17, 2014
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Falling

Adventure or disaster, as I have discovered in my increasing years, is determined by transport. This can be on foot, or via a vehicle – but when I think about what is worthy of telling, it inevitably involves travel. Of course, that is not to say disaster does not befell one at home, but when choosing between falling off a ladder trying to clean the gutters, or falling 3km in 10 seconds whilst flying to Japan, guess which one is more interesting.

About that flight. In fact, about flying in general; I have a few tips. If there is one thing I have learned about air travel – never, ever, take your seatbelt off. Trip to the toilet is a necessary risk. Sit and hold on to the handle when you are in there. Speak to the people you are next to. And, as was told to me by an ex-Boeing engineer I sat next to once - if you survive a crash, you have 90 seconds to get out of the plane before it burns down (this is called a 90 second “burn rating”).

All commercial buildings have a burn rating. Some are 15 minutes, some are 3 hours. It is an indication of how long before the structure weakens and collapses on itself. A Boeing 747 has 90 seconds. As my German ex-engineer told me (Germans are not ones to mince words), you must punch and fight your way out. Do not help anyone, do not stop, do not pass go, do not collect $200. But that was a flight from Los Angeles to Brisbane. This story, was a flight from Cairns to Tokyo. But in 1996, it made headlines in Japan for two days.

This was the first time I had been to Japan. It’s not that I had not wanted to go sooner - Japan had held fascination to me since I was in high school. However, I had never had the opportunity, or at least the motivation to go until I was 24. I regret not going sooner. I regret not studying Japanese at university (it was not offered at my high school, I could only study French). In 1996 I had worked on a Japanese movie called ACRI. It was a silly film, about a guy that turned into a dolphin. But on the other hand, it opened a lot of doors for me. I met a lot of japanese who remain good friends of mine to this day. You could call it a seminal experience. At that time, I was a compositor, working on films and I was so busy with work, I didn’t have time to travel. Lucky for me, I was a natural with compositing. Sticking one image over another and making it look right wasn’t that hard for me. I can’t explain why, but it was an easy fit. Fortunately, my work was well regarded, and the Japanese guys I worked with liked me for it. Next thing, I was on a plane to Japan - although, it was for a holiday, or so I thought.

I flew from Brisbane to Cairns. I’m not sure why I picked the flight, but probably, mostly, because it was cheaper than the direct flight. I guess it should have been an omen, when in Cairns they announced that the captain had been taken ill, and it would take three hours to fly a new pilot from Sydney to Cairns. A three hour wait in Cairns airport. There is not much to do in Cairns airport, so we’ll skip to the action.

My seat was over the wing — a window seat — which is my favorite. I had the whole row to myself, which gave me the impression that the flight was pretty empty. I was surprised to find out later that there were 220 people on board. I was the last row before the galley. I had just read a book called “Tokyo Tribes”, which was about the Bosozoku. I began reading another book, but I can’t remember what it was. Maybe it was Trainspotting. About 2 hours out of Tokyo we hit a patch of turbulence. Most of the people we old Japanese tourists, most were sleeping, and the lights had been dimmed. I was reading, of course, so I had my light on. There was nothing special about the turbulence — just that gentle, incessant rocking.

I had my seatbelt on, so it took a moment to understand why people around me were floating. They just raised up, like spirits, or a scene from a Miyazaki movie. It took a moment for the people who were floating to understand they were floating. And then, as soon as we all realized that something was not quite right, the floaters were slammed into the roof of the plane. And I mean really slammed. Their bodies, their heads, and some their arms, went through the plastic ceiling inside the plane. The luggage lockers broke open offering their contents to the melee. And then, like some turned the gravity switch on, everyone and everything was dumped back down hard. To this day, I can’t forget the sound of the screams. It was awful, primal, and terrifying. I thought the plane was crashing, and flicked my blind open to try and see which way up we were. There was a beautiful sliver of sun on the horizon. The sky was teal blue, and at the intersection with earth, a yellow and red slice of the last light.

People were still crawling on the floor when the closest flight attendant pulled herself into a chair, buckled up, put her arms and head on the seat in front and yelled, “Brace, brace, brace”. Adrenaline surged through me. We are going to crash, I thought… How do I survive this? People were still crawling on the floor, injured. I reached over and grabbed an old Japanese woman off the floor. With one arm, pumped with the superhuman changes that your body goes through in panic, I picked her up and plonked her in a seat. I buckled and tightened her seatbelt. She was crying. I looked behind me. A trolley had spilled out of the galley and was resting behind my seat. Cutlery had speared into the wall no more than 30cm from my head.

The next stage was silence. That was maybe more scary than the screaming. Everyone had gone silent at the same time. I kept watching the horizon, just checking. There was probably a point where I felt a little assured — we were still the right way up and still flying. The next noise that I heard was not human, but from the plane. It was like a monster under the plane had started moaning or maybe like the sound effect they used to use when superman bent steel. The vibrations went through the cabin. Great, I though, we survived the fall, and now the wings are going to fall off.

We all sat in silence, listening to the plane crying for help. It was some time — maybe five minutes before the crew came rushing through the cabin. Medical kits were rushing past me. A call on the PA went out for doctors. A call then went out for translators. I soon found out why. The translating flight attendant had knocked out all her teeth on chair arm. Someone was going through the cabin looking for them. “Look for teeth, teeth!”, one of them yelled at me. “Under your seat!” I found none.

There was silence from the cockpit. There had been no announcement, which I thought was a bad sign. There was a lot of rushing, some crying, quiet moaning. As the adrenaline started to fade, I began to feel tired. One hour until Tokyo. Eventually, the pilot spoke. All I heard was “unexpected air pocket, radar didn’t pick it up. We’ve dropped in altitude, will take longer to land because we’ve also slowed down on purpose”.

I felt a great sense of relief when the plane landed. It was the fastest stop I’ve experienced in a plane. And instead of taxiing to the terminal, we just stopped on the tarmac. Big spotlights were shone on the plane, fire engines and ambulances circled us, flashing their lights. Camera flashes popped, and through it all I could see a mass of people on the ground. Must have been TV gold, being a serious incident on a Qantas plane (the airline that doesn’t crash). Another announcement was made — if injured, stay on the plane, if not, get off. As one of the lucky ones, I shuffled into the ailse and waited to get off. Behind me, two flight attendants were talking. If I hadn’t turned pale and scared before, I suddenly was as I heard that they thought they were going to die and the plane was crashing. I couldn’t wait to get off.

We were shunted into a bus, and kept away from the media who were yelling at us. An express ride into the terminal, and processed by customs in record time. My friend, Kagari (nickname Tex), was waiting to pick me up. Quick, he told me, we’ve got to get the last bus - your plane was late!

I was happy to be away from planes. As the bus came over the crest of a hill, a light rain had begun to fall. For the first time I saw the lights of Tokyo rising into the mist. It was truly like Akira or a scene from Bladerunner it was a city of science fiction. After the events of that day, I felt grateful to be alive. I breathed in the neon light, the energy of the city. Getting out at Shinjuku was like some sort of strange nirvana.

It felt like the city for me. Given what it took to get there, I would have been very happy to stay.

Apr 11, 2014
0 notes
Apr 5, 2014
0 notes
Some days are better than others.

Some days are better than others.

Mar 23, 2014
1 note
I call this one “Internal Embrocation”. Vaguely Belgian, and possibly the best beer I’ve made yet — just in time for the classics. #beer #cycling  (at Enmore)

I call this one “Internal Embrocation”. Vaguely Belgian, and possibly the best beer I’ve made yet — just in time for the classics. #beer #cycling (at Enmore)

Mar 22, 2014
1 note
Momo’s picture of me and the penny farthing racer.  (at Tempe Velodrome)

Momo’s picture of me and the penny farthing racer. (at Tempe Velodrome)

Mar 22, 2014
0 notes
Yep. Kumo + Campagnolo. Canberra made, Japanese name, Italian brain.  (at Tempe Velodrome)

Yep. Kumo + Campagnolo. Canberra made, Japanese name, Italian brain. (at Tempe Velodrome)

Mar 22, 2014
1 note
The bling ringers arrived.

The bling ringers arrived.

Mar 22, 2014
1 note
Hells yeah.  (at Marrickville)

Hells yeah. (at Marrickville)

Mar 22, 2014
1 note
Mar 15, 2014
1 note
Weathered storm. Finished rum ration. Fitted 38cm bars in a fit of pique.

Weathered storm. Finished rum ration. Fitted 38cm bars in a fit of pique.

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